Egg Donation and Surrogacy for Gay Men
For same-sex male couples or individuals dreaming of fatherhood, egg donation and surrogacy open a pathway to biological parenthood. Yet one intimate, sometimes difficult question often arises early in the journey:
Who provides the sperm?
This decision is both deeply personal and complex, influenced by genetics, emotional desires, legal considerations, and long-term implications.
At EggDonorsSanDiego.com—founded by fertility expert Dr. Minoos Hosseinzadeh—this question is approached with compassion, expertise, and individualized care.
“Every family’s story is different,” says Dr. Hosseinzadeh. “We guide intended parents through their decision-making with respect, scientific clarity, and emotional support.”
Defining the Path: Egg Donation and Surrogacy for Gay Couples
Egg donation for gay men involves selecting an egg donor. This is typically done through a clinic’s in-house egg donor database, egg donor agency, or someone who is known to the couple. Those oocytes will be inseminated using one partner’s sperm or some of the oocytes inseminated by each partner’s sperm. For example, half of the oocytes are inseminated by each partner’s sperm. A gestational surrogate then receives an embryo transfer and carries the pregnancy to term. This process—called IVF with egg donor and surrogacy—is medically advanced, emotionally significant, and logistically complex.
While some two-dad families make the decision early on about who will contribute sperm, others explore options like shared fatherhood, in which embryos are created from both partners’ sperm and transferred in sequence.
How the Decision Is Made
1. Genetic Considerations
The desire for a biological connection in gay families can influence who provides the sperm. Sometimes family history, personal identity, or genetic legacy becomes a defining factor.
“We conduct a semen analysis to assess motility, morphology, and overall quality,” explains Dr. Hosseinzadeh. “This can clarify which partner’s sample is more viable for fertilization.”
2. Emotional and Relationship Dynamics
This isn’t just a medical decision—it’s emotional. One partner may strongly desire a biological link, while the other may be more focused on co-parenting. The goal is to ensure both individuals feel equally valued in the gay parenting journey.
3. Health and Medical Background
Pre-existing conditions, hereditary risks, or chromosomal abnormalities can also factor into choosing a sperm source. Your fertility team helps assess medical risk factors and recommends genetic counseling where needed.
4. Shared Fatherhood Possibilities
Some couples opt for dual embryo creation, using sperm from both partners to inseminate the oocytes from a single egg donor. This allows each father to have a genetic child within the same family unit. Choosing dual sperm in embryo creation with the same egg donor also allows the donor-conceived children in the family to have a genetic link to one another.
Why It Matters: The Long-Term View
This decision influences family dynamics, birth certificates, and even legal aspects of surrogacy. In California, both intended parents can be legally recognized, but some countries or some US states may differ. Additionally, understanding how your future child might perceive this decision is part of responsible LGBTQ+ family building.
When Is the Right Time to Decide?
It’s best to make this decision early in your journey—ideally before selecting an egg donor. Having clarity helps streamline medical protocols and egg donor selection, avoiding the emotional strain of changing plans mid-process.
Risk Factors and Considerations
- Sperm quality variability between partners
- Emotional imbalance in perceived parental connection
- Considerations in IVF cycles when creating embryos with 2 sperm sources
- Legal complexities in jurisdictions outside California
Prevention and Support
Open communication, early counseling, and fertility education can help prevent regret or discord later. At Fertility Institute of San Diego, we offer dedicated LGBTQ+ parenting support, therapy referrals, and one-on-one consultations to navigate these choices.
Types of Treatments Available
- IVF with egg donor and gestational surrogate
- Dual sperm IVF cycles for shared fatherhood
- Embryo genetic testing, including gender selection, and sperm quality analysis
- Psychological counseling and parental rights planning
Costs
The cost of surrogacy and egg donation can range from $150,000 to $200,000 depending on medical needs, agency fees, legal costs, and number of IVF attempts. Dual sperm use may increase lab fees slightly.
Dr. Hosseinzadeh notes, “While the financial investment is significant, what you’re building is priceless—your family.”
FAQs
Final Thoughts
The question “Who provides the sperm?” is not just a procedural step—it’s a defining chapter in the love story of gay dads and surrogacy. At EggDonorsSanDiego.com, we treat it as such. With science, support, and soul, we help couples transform a question into a family.
If you’re ready to start your egg donation journey, click here.
